Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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