What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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