I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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