do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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