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I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
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