Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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