Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Randomize
Follow @tfln