Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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