Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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