Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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