i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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