Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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