all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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