I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
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She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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