He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
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Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
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she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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