so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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