Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize