My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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