Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
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We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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