and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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