just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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