dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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