You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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