We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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