As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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