I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize