I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize