Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize