i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize