I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
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i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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