yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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