Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
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Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
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So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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