Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
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We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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