My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
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The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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