omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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