she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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