if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize