it was like his penis was on wheels.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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