yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
After last night, I could never be a politician.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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