I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The best revenge is premature balding
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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