My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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