I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize