He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize