i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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