Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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