Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize