she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
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At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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