So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize