It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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