Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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